You know what really empowers and EXCITES me these days? Knowing I have CONTROL! (Wait, what!? In THIS world? YES! In COVID America--even with politics and global warming and AYE! Too much to think about...) YUP---read on...
This is nothing new, right? We have TALKED about cutting out the BS in our lives, calling ourselves out for our own crappy inner narratives, self-care solutions and positive self-talk. You've heard it all right!? BUT, are you still stuck? Have you been totally unable to really EMBRACE your inner bad-assery? Yikes--I hear you. I've been doing a LOT of talks about being stuck, being paralyzed, being unable to MOVE forward and grab exactly what you WANT. So, time to do another REAL TALK blog and finally cut the sh*t, girl. Guess who is in control here....YOU.
This week, not less than THREE times I've had someone comment that I am "on fire". That they want what I have. Even that they want to understand why we have the same career trajectory except I seem like I am living on cloud NINE and really crushing life (thank you, btw!). So let me share the secret sauce. What makes me special or different? Absolutely nothing, yet absolutely everything! Huh-you ask? Well here is the deal from my perspective. Am I original? Meh, maybe. Am I the ONLY person in the world coaching, speaking, event planning, spreading REAL talk and bad-ass-bossery? Hell no I am not. But do I see myself as special in this over-filtered, over-processed, underpaid, overworked, CRAZY a$$ world we live in? Abso-f*cking-lutely, and I truly TRULY believe that YOU should to.
Why do I support myself in this way? Why do I act as my biggest fan and cheerleader? Because NO ONE ELSE WILL BELIEVE IN ME UNLESS I BELIEVE IN ME. Read that again. Out loud this time.
And same goes for you. No, I am not saying that you don't have the BEST friends, the MOST supportive family, the most AMAZING boss. Maybe you do. Maybe you don't. But let me remind you that you are the most important--no on else is driving here honey. Maybe you wear the title of mom, sister, wife, employee, committee chair, volunteer--all the things--which you probably do. So who acts as the person that is 100% ALWAYS there for you? YOU. You should at least...and let me tell you why.
Let's talk about a story of Imposter Syndrome. (It is a real thing, go ahead and google it if you need to.) You probably just gasped *WOW--that is so ME*. That hurts my SOUL, you dear, beautiful human. Why? Because that means you did all the work, yet gave yourself NONE of the credit. You know what makes you badass deep down, yet you've just let society dictate to you that you don't NEED to scream it from the top of the mountain. WRONG! In this story you are passing up great jobs because you don't feel qualified, you aren't applying for awards/recognition in your industry because you think someone else should see your work and nominate you, and you aren't truly going for whatever you want because you believe hard work alone will get you there. I hope it does, but in case it doesn't, it is time for you to roll up your sleeves and get to finding and unleashing the inner badass that is YOU.
So Carrie, Why? It seems so....ugh, like, self-promotion. Ok, a break through! Here is what I am going to tell you is the key to success after hard work (yes, sorry--hard work still come first...). SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION. Let's say you have put in the hours, you have the drive, you are REALLY GOOD at what you do. But nothing. A couple of awards, few accolades, fleeting nice notes about your work, probably a great performance review or two and then.....silence. Why? Because you aren't buying in to what you are selling. Because you aren't being the PR person for the [Insert your name here] brand. You are in charge of making sure you are getting that credit in your life. YOU have control. (See--now we've come full circle...)
So what next? Here are some tips on how to GET THERE, because you know I love my bullet points;
Why are you badass? Let's reintroduce you to, well, you. I want you to write down at least three (and thirty is even better) reasons why you are amazing. Start small- Do you keep it together when most people would cry? Did you make it through MONDAY even when it sucked hard? Whatever you need to write here, really dig in and write what makes you awesome.
You are your own brand. OWN IT. What are you good at and what do you love? Yes, I will reference Danielle LePorte's The Desire Map here, again, but truly--have you taken a moment to think about what you love and what you want? Do you even know what color you like, like...really? Ok, small exercise. If you were a brand, what colors would you want to showcase YOU. Maybe it is deep purple or emerald because you are luxe and exude passion, or maybe it is Navy because you are reliable and consistent. Go--go figure out what your "brand" color would be. Share it in the comments or on Insta for bonus points!
Do one thing this week that is an act of shameless-self-promotion. Here is your feel-good moment. Please, share your positivity with the world, because (selfishly) we ALL need that right now! Did you get a great review at work, did you finish a self-care book you've been putting off for weeks? Did you actually sit through a full five minutes of meditating? YES, share it! SHARE SHARE SHARE. Give us a glimpse into what makes you so freakin' fan-tabulous.
Go Bigger. Get unstuck. Reach out to someone that motivates or inspires you and ask them for a 10 min virtual coffee date. Tell them why they inspire you. Ask for a connection or two to fill in your universe of cheerleaders. And if all else fails...
Fake it till you earn it. Personal example. I knew I rocked early in my career. I knew I had some good opinions, that I was good at my job, and that people could benefit from what I KNEW. Really--I had that kind of perseverance and tenacity early on. (Go Young Carrie!) So I started writing articles from a subject-matter-expert review and sending it to all the industry related pubs. I finally got asked to do a (very short) blurb for an interview on catering and food trends for events, but that is where it all started.
It doesn't all have to suck. Look, I mean that. Yes, things are hard--like precedence setting hard. Sometimes the "survivors guilt" I have is real. I get really thrown off by doing well when others aren't. But, look, I need you to repeat this to yourself a thousand times, things don't have to suck ALL the time. They don't have to suck event when *in general* things just suck. Lean in to all the positive, gushy, wonderful things that CAN happen to you and for you. You DESERVE IT!!!
In summary...love yourself, treat yourself, be your PR person, cheerleader, and biggest fan. Try it--even for a week, and let me know how the universe shows up! Email: firstname.lastname@example.org.